A Crash Course in ...Moscow?
Moscow: Day 3
The alarm went off under the pillow again, sometime around 8:30. I was tired, but felt okay otherwise. I attempted not to fall out of bed, mostly unsuccessfully, and got dressed. I walked down the street for breakfast again. Like Prague, Moscow is quieter on Saturday’s. A pastry and OJ were on the menu. After breakfast the 20 of us headed for the Red Square.
We entered on the southern end, and had to walk all the way to the northern end to get in line to see Lenin's Tomb. In Russian culture it’s customary to hold someone’s place in line, while they step out to grab a quick bite or run to the bathroom, so about 15 or 20 students went off for 15 minutes or so. The whole waiting process took about 45 minutes, which isn’t bad considering that sometimes the line is 3 hours long.
We were informed that you couldn’t have any cameras in the tomb, so I, having one of the few backpacks, suddenly picked up several thousand dollars in electronics to put in the coat check before we went thru yet another security checkpoint. The backpack weighed 20 pounds or more and had everyone’s cell phone with a camera and about 85 percent of everyone else’s digital.
When they let us thru the first control gate to walk toward the check point and go thru security, I took my bag straight to the coat check. To my relief there were no x-ray’s this time. I ran back to the line where the rest of the students were waiting. I was in the line on the right, but the guard motioned us to the left, so I went to go around the metal barrier dividing the line and in the process got my coat pocket hooked on the divider.
Not realizing it immediately I started to drag the divider forward as I walked, trapped between the other people moving forward, the security guard trying to push me back into line and Tatiana and Me fighting to get my pocket free from the end of the barrier.
Thankfully I didn’t get arrested, or damage my coat, but it was a pain in the butt none the less. After walking thru the metal detectors, I was wanded, and then felt up again, by yet another Russian security guard. We walked along the row of blue spruce toward the tomb. Took a left, a right, and entered thru the front door. I pulled my hat off. We walked thru the front door, a guard directing us to the left. We walked down a flight to stairs, where a guard told us to remove our hands from our pockets. We walked down another flight of stairs, a guard waiting at the bottom. We entered the tomb, where two guards stood watching our every move. We walked up to the right and around Lenin’s embalmed body. He looks pretty good for someone who’s been dead for 83 years. We left the tomb, heading right, up another flight of stairs and out of the building.
It was creepy and morbid. You can’t talk while you’re in the tomb. I’d be willing to be that if you flinch the wrong way you will be escorted out.
We walked down the rest of the row, looking at the other memorials for important Russian and communist leaders. It was creepy and morbid again. There were live flowers on all of the memorials, like they replace them daily.
I then had to walk all the way back across the Red Square to get my backpack filled with electronics, and then over to the other side to see Saint Basil’s Cathedral. I distributed the electronics accordingly, and passed out some crackers to the weary travelers.
Saint Basil’s is so colorful that it looks like a set of lollipops. We were trying to decide on flavors for each of the domes. We came up with things like: watermelon, blueberry, strawberry, lime twist, butterscotch... You get the idea; it honestly looks like you should be able to eat the cathedral.
We went inside, and it was TINY. It’s only two floors as the domes are all at different heights, so there is no real view across the square. It was this odd labyrinth of hallways, small staircases, and small rooms. Very cool place, but it is much, much more impressive from the outside. We left the cathedral and went to the mall, diagonally across to kill some time. Before we got to the mall we must have seen at least 5 brides. The crowds and wedding parties were shouting something in Russian that means they want the new couple to kiss.
We saw one couple kissing for their crowd... But she quickly broke away when he started to go for more...
It was absolutely hilarious.
We went into this mall, which is set up in a tic-tac-toe style layout, three stories high with little bridges over the atriums. It was pretty cool, and very expensive. I opted not to browse for fear I may buy something I didn’t really need. We left the mall about 30 minutes later and headed to the Church of Christ the Savior for lunch.
I swear to God that this place was the soup kitchen.
Lunch was a vegetarian style meal consisting of a cabbage soup in a tomato base, an apple filled roll, rice, and a salad. And for someone who hasn’t had a vegetarian meal in his life, it was quite good. But it was definitely like the cheapest place that NYU could find... It was in the basement of a church, and looked like a soup kitchen.
Oh well... Supposedly it’s a diner... I don’t believe it.
We then went into the Church itself. It was really huge and very ornate. We did have to go thru security again... This time I didn’t get felt up, but I did have my bag inspected. The main dome in the cathedral is painted with an image of God the Father, holding a baby Jesus.
I can’t recall if I have ever seen an image of God the Father before. It was a pretty interesting concept to paint. He looked similar to the deceptions of Midas, or Zeus. We left the church and divided into a couple of different groups. The group I was part of went to an art museum just around the corner, while others fanned out across the city.
The museum was not quite as good as the one we went to the day before, but it wasn’t too bad. I walked thru pretty quickly, not finding anything that really struck me. There were some interesting concept pieces where the whole room was of the same painting, but in different colors, and in slightly different styles. I exited the exhibits and waited for the rest of the crew. We were supposed to head back to the Cathedral to hear part of the mass that started at 5. However by the time 5:30 had rolled around, and nobody else had left the exhibit yet, I headed off alone, in hopes of meeting someone there, or on the way there, that I knew.
I went back thru security and into the church. They were singing the mass in the language old church slavonic... At least I think that’s what it was. After a solid 15 minutes of confusion of what was going on, I left, and as luck would have it ran into a group of 3 students who adopted me.
We went off to find tea. I ordered something that smelled sort of fish like, but it was more Chinese than anything else. I also got a piece of cake, that wasn’t too shabby. Not the best tea/cake combo I’ve ever had, but all things considered, it wasn’t bad.
After all the whole damn menu was in Russian.
Our group of four then headed off to the other side of Moscow to have dinner at the Cafe My-My. To our surprise we were able to find it without too much trouble. I had some sort of meatball again, with meat pockets, and the cheese filled dessert thing. I can’t complain. It was mostly in Russian again.
The group then headed back to the hostel to change so we could go out. We got a phone call that said where we could crash Tania’s little party, which was at a bar up the street. We headed out, walking the block or two before we arrived a the “Bar 24.” It was a small little smoky hole in the wall with 10 tables, 25 bar stools, and a VIP sitting area. It had a Bourbon Street style to it; consisting of signs for New Orleans, and it’s major landmarks. The crew was in the back, in the VIP area. We went to join them, but were stopped by the waiter as we entered. It was “reserved.” The people in Tania’s little group, who speak some sort of Checko-Russian were able to talk to the Russians who had reserved it. The Russians asked if we were their friends. They replied yes, and thus invited us to sit down.
To thank them we ordered them a round of 3 tequila shots, and 2 beers. It was one of the Russian women’s 28th birthday. We were also buying our own shots. The Russians then bought us shots of Sambuca.
The process of taking the shot was rather intense... Here is the process:
Poke a hole in the middle of a paper napkin and stick an angled straw thru, small end up, long end sticking out from under the napkin. Place the setup on the table.
Pour measured liquor out of the shot glass and into a snifter.
Add 3 - 4 coffee beans.
Light the Sambuca on fire and roll the snifter on its edge while laying in the mouth of a highball glass.
After about 10 seconds pour the flaming liquor and toasted coffee beans into the highball and extinguish the flames by cutting the oxygen by pressing the snifter down on top of the highball.
Take the empty snifter and set it on the napkin, with the straw sticking up into the glass.
Shoot the liquor, chew the beans.
Deeply inhale on the straw and suck in the hot gasses from cooking the Sambuca.
This process seems quite complicated. But HOLY CRAP was it so cool to watch, fun to do, and provided a really strong and interesting drink.
So we buy the Russians another round, this time of Southern Comfort with lime... We figured it doesn’t get more American than that.
They thank us by ordering a round of vodka and lemon shots for us.
If your counting I’ve had 2 shots of vodka, 1 Jack on the rocks, and a flaming Sambuca shot at this point. We were only an hour and a half into the evening... Oh right, they gave us an extra tequila by accident earlier. One of the girls and I split that... No sense in letting that go to waste.
The band started playing in the corner. They were playing all American tunes, that we were singing to at the top of our lungs. And everyone was dancing.
The Russians left soon after, I’m sure heading off to keep partying. We thanked them and gave them hugs as they were leaving.
At this point I decided it was a good idea to leave.
Just Kidding.
I ordered another round of tequila for our group. We kept dancing and singing. One of the people I was with asked when I was going to leave. I shrugged, and retorted with the same question. She said, “In about 10 minutes.” I suggested another round instead.
10 minutes later we were having another round of tequila.
The band stopped playing around 2:15. We hollered for more, in what Russian we knew. They gave us one more song. When they were done at about 2:25 we gathered our things, and walked the block and a half back to the hostel.
At this point I was talking in Spanish. I don’t know exactly why...
I brushed my teeth in the mirror, managed to spill water all over my shirt, and laugh the entire time. At absolutely nothing. It was a sight to be seen. I changed my shirt into something dry and climbed into the top bunk, and died at about 3am on my mattress that would have been more comfortable if it were made of straw. I did remember to set my alarm...